How to Cope with Midlife Crisis and Perimenopause: What to Expect and How to Find Balance

Navigating the emotional storm of a midlife crisis alongside perimenopause is a journey many women in  their 40s, 50s, and beyond face. During these transformative years, physical changes collide with intense  self-reflection, creating a whirlwind that can impact every part of life. From health and identity to core  values, it may feel as though everything is shifting at once, leading to questions like, “Who am I now?  What’s happening to me? What truly matters?”

If you’re experiencing this, you’re not alone. Many women look to regain a sense of self and balance but  feel unsure where to start. The first step? Allow yourself to feel without judgment and listen to your  body. Rather than resisting, try to accept these changes. This approach aligns with what we, as stoics,  call the “Art of Acquiescence.” With self-compassion and support, you can move through this time with  strength, resilience, and HOPE. Let’s explore what to expect and some practical strategies to help you  find balance. 

I’m Lyen Wong —

A fitness trainer with over 20 years of experience, a former fitness model and  competitive athlete, and a woman navigating her 50s. I’m here to share insights from my journey  through perimenopause and midlife transition in hopes that they help you navigate this time, too.  Remember, patience is key; there will be steps forward and backward.

What to Expect: Why Perimenopause and Midlife Crisis Feel So Intense Together 

For me, the perimenopause symptoms began around age 42, with a noticeable drop in energy, mild body  aches, and night sweats. By 45, I also began experiencing a midlife crisis, marked by confusion and a  sense of loss. At 50, I hit a breaking point living the worst year of my life. Here are the top challenges I  faced during this transition: 

1. Clinical Depression – Persistent feelings of fatigue, sadness, and a lack of interest in activities I  once enjoyed. 

2. Chronic Muscle Pain and Tightness – Persistent aches, especially in my hips, back, legs, and  shoulders, making it hard to move freely. 

3. Arthritis-like Symptoms – Pain and swelling in hands, feet and shoulders, causing strength and  mobility loss. 

4. Weight Gain – Despite a healthy diet and regular exercise, I kept gaining weight, particularly  around my abdomen. 

5. Sleep Disturbances – Hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia and restless legs disrupted my sleep.

6. Brain Fog – Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and thinking clearly.

7. Feelings of Regret – I found myself questioning some of the life choices I’d made in my earlier  years. 

8. Social Withdrawal – Avoiding social activities and spending less time outdoors.

9. Sugar Cravings and Digestive Issues – New cravings and even bouts of constipation which was  new for me. 

10. Changes in Skin and Hair Texture – My skin’s elasticity and hair quality noticeably changed. 

For years, I pushed through these symptoms, determined to maintain my usual pace and body shape.  But eventually, I reached a breaking point. The pains became too much to bear, and I felt lost, stuck, and  increasingly depressed and unhappy. I hit rock bottom, feeling as if there was no way out. I gave up for a  whole year, not knowing what direction to take or how to find relief. 

Practical Tips for Coping with Perimenopause and Midlife Crisis Together

Here are some steps that helped me find balance. I hope they can help you too: 

1. Accept This Life Stage – The changes you’re going through are natural. Avoid setting overly  ambitious goals, and honor where you are right now. 

2. Practice the “Art of Acquiescence” – Embrace this transition as part of your journey. Allow  yourself to feel without judgment. 

3. Stay Present – Focus on the here and now. Journaling can help you process emotions and bring  self-awareness. 

4. Find What Works for You – Research, ask questions, and experiment to discover what brings  you relief and peace. Nothing is set in stone—everyone's journey is unique. Allow yourself the  freedom to adapt and find what fits best for you 

5. Set Realistic Goals – Set small, achievable goals that bring you a sense of purpose and  fulfillment without adding unnecessary stress. Focus on what feels manageable, so you can  celebrate each accomplishment without the pressure of too many tasks. Resting and sleeping is  a must goal.

6. Cultivate Supportive Relationships – Surround yourself with people who lift you up and add joy  to your life. 

7. Build a Support Network –Reach out to a friend, therapist, or support group. One of the best  things I did was connect with other women who were going through, or had already gone  through, the same experience and it was incredibly validating and helpful. 

8. Prioritize Self-Care– Listen to your body and adjust your exercise, nutrition, and stress  management practices to suit this stage of life. 

9. Focus on Self-Improvement –it’s about progress, not perfection. Some days you’ll move  forward, and other days you might take a step back. The whole process will take time but as  long as you use the right tools, you will keep moving forward. Every small step counts, and even  setbacks are part of the personal growth journey. 

Navigating midlife and perimenopause is challenging, but it’s also an opportunity for growth. Start by  taking the time to understand where you are and identify what you truly need in this initial phase (Phase  1). Next, evaluate and recognize what matters most to you (Phase 2). Finally, choose your path forward  and bring harmony into your life (Phase 3).  

The best is yet to come as you step into this new and empowering phase! 

Stay Tuned for my next post, where I’ll dive deeper into self-evaluation, discover new motivations, and  explore how to find purpose in this chapter of life. 

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Share your thoughts and experiences. Let’s support each other on this journey!